Best Friend

We were young, just kids

Who were best friends

And I, so juvenile and naive,

Wanted to be more

Because at the time

That’s what people did

Claimed to be dating

Maybe held hands

Because no one believed

Boys and girls

Could just be friends

So I asked you out

Silly little me

And you turned me down

Then that was the start

Of losing my best friend

Because you stopped talking to me

And we stopped hanging out

And I was left alone

Without my best friend

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If only you knew…

I am not okay.

I struggle every day

But that, you cannot see

A constant, agonizing discomfort

That I am forced to fight through

Day by day
If only you knew

My quotidian endeavors

The ones unknown

Without reason or cause

That I am forced to endure.

Maybe then you would

See me differently
I am not okay

But that 

you do not know

Prom Perplexity

Junior and senior year of high school includes so many obstacles. Some of them are fun but other not so much. Prom can go either way. It can be one of the best nights of your life or one of the worst. Or you could just not go at all. 

Unlike Homecoming, Prom seems to be more of a couples thing. And even so, Homecoming has seemed to be more fun when I had a date. So with Prom around the corner I find myself wondering what I should do. I don’t have a date or even a group of friends who are going (or at least not ones who have invited me to join them). Yet I also don’t want to miss out on something that you only get to experience probably twice in your life. I want to wear a beautiful dress, have my hair and make up done, dance, and have a great time. But is that an option for me?

Of course! I am going to go to Prom whether I end up getting a date, find a group of friends to go with, or wing it by myself. So to anyone who feels left out or alone or like they can’t fit in just remember you are NOT alone, you are NOT left out, and who cares if you fit in! Life is however you make it so do what you want. Say screw you to conformity and just be yourself.

A Fairytale Always Ends

I felt like Cinderella

Like every kiss woke me up

From a deep deep sleep

So happy and in love

Then came happily ever after…

Right?

No.

The movie may have ended

But the life went on

And bad things ensued

Next came the break

That never ended.

Which is why

Fairytales always end

When they do.

So you only see the end

Of the beginning.

Pissed at Pre Calc

Naturally, I’ve always been good at math. I excelled at it even, wondering why so many people had trouble with it. Now, I can understand the complexity. “Verifying Trigonomic Identities” may be the death of me.

This was my thing, the thing I was best at: math. Now I’m just sad and confused. I can figure it out with enough time and  help from the internet so homework goes well. I’m just worried that when the test comes I won’t be able to do it. Then, I’ll freak out, fighting to hold back my tears. Because this was my thing! And now I feel like I have nothing…

Stupid math 😣